Stosh Saint-Jablonski was supposed to be a golf pro. Instead, he's a caddy living in a decaying Florida condo complex where the pool is filled with mysterious black ooze and the neighbors are plotting revolution. When the tyrannical condo president disappears with all their money, Stosh finds himself reluctantly in charge—and completely out of his depth. Between internet conspiracy theorists, light language channelers, crypto-mining cults, and a pet wild boar named Gator, his new reality makes his failed golf career look simple.

As summer heats up, so does the chaos. Religious zealots clash with protesters in the parking lot and an algorithm promising true love may actually be government spyware. Stosh struggles to hold his fractured community together while hiding a devastating secret about his own role in their financial ruin. Caught between his growing paranoia and the increasingly unhinged demands of leadership, he begins to suspect that every bizarre encounter might be connected in ways too terrifying—and too stupid—to believe. He finds himself navigating a world where truth has become negotiable and madness feels like the only rational response.

A savage satire of our extremely online age, where reality and the internet have merged into something unrecognizable, and the fight for sanity becomes a losing battle.